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| અગ્રણી હાસ્યલેખક વિનોદ ભટ્ટ (૧૯૩૮-૨૦૧૮) તસ્વીર: ઇશાન ભાવસાર |
Our Gidhu uncle, got to know of this,
generously lavished praise on the Governor of the Reserve Bank. Only the men
with great erudition can produce such remarkable findings. The evil poor are
responsible for the growing inflation in our country. Only the man holding the
prestigious position of the Governor of the Reserve Bank can make such a unique
discovery. He should be certainly decorated with Padma prize for it. The
Finance Minister should be glad that the government can now impose tax on the
people living below the poverty-line. In short, we’ve found out a remedy to
reduce the growing inflation. Kudos to D. Subbarao.
***
Dear readers, let me tell you that
inflation is not a recent phenomenon. It’d certainly been there in the times of
our ancestors. Even if the price of gold was 10 rupees per tola, an
average monthly salary used to be merely five or seven rupees. So, there’s no
need to shed tears on the days that are no more. Only a week ago, I took my grandson’s bicycle
to a cycle shop for a service. I asked
the mender: “how much for the service of the bicycle?” He said, “Uncle, I generally charge a hundred
and fifty from others. But a hundred from you will fairly do.”
“Oh! It’s too much!” I was so taken aback
that I told him ‘Do you know that I purchased my maiden bicycle for a hundred
and thirty.”
He laughingly said, “Hahaha! Uncle,
just forget it. I tell you, if you buy a bicycle today, it’ll minimally cost
you two thousand to three thousand.” I end up astonishingly looking at him. I
remember the days when Vespa scooter was a novelty in the market. Our client
had agency of Vespa scooters. He once came to our office and very politely he
offered us saying: “Bhatt sir, I’m booking two scooters for you. The price of a single scooter is 2250/-
rupees and you don’t need to pay me for these in cash. We’ll manage it from the
fees that I’m bound to pay you. And my father and Panna uncle have bought two
scooters.
***
My wife sold an empty oil container for
twenty six rupees. It might have cost thirty but the container had developed
patches of rust on its surface. Considering this, the rust proved expensive to
me – it cost me four rupees. My mother
used to tell me that there’s a time when an oil-full container would cost about
four rupees. Though the word ‘Dawood’ is associated with the notorious mafia of
our times, it’s totally associated with a variety of wheat. Dawoodkhani wheat
would cost two rupees a man. Twelve sher sugar would cost a rupee
only, and so, we can infer that diabetes was cheaper in those days. One liter milk would cost five paisa and for
a rupee, pure ghee – the formula of vegetable ghee was yet to be
invented – can be purchased. A plate-full of meal would cost two and half annas.
In two and a half rupees, one could purchase such a sari which’s impossible to
buy spending three hundred or so nowadays.
Even though It’s considered a kind of
micro-violence to inflict pain on someone, I would go on informing you the
prices of products in 1900s. The products are weighted in man, which
means 40 sher.
Product
|
Price
|
Wheat
|
4 anna
|
Jowar – Bajri
|
3 and a quarter
|
Tuver Daal
|
4 anna
|
Cotton
|
6 anna
|
Ghee
|
4 rupees
|
Milk
|
6 anna
|
Oil
|
2 rupees
|
Castor-oil
|
1 rupees and 75 paisa
|
Pepper
|
4 rupees
|
Chilly
|
5 anna
|
Jaggery
|
1 rupees and 25 paisa
|
Sugar
|
2 rupees
|
Mango
|
2 anna
|
Timber
|
5 anna
|
Toddy
|
2 anna
|
Hens
|
1 rupees for 32 hens
|
Eggs
|
1 rupees for 192 eggs
|
Gold
|
15 rupees for a tola
|
Nadiadi Mavo
|
7 rupees
|
Maida
|
10 rupees for 5 man
|
***
It’s seventy five years ago when the
price of gold was 18 rupees for a tola. My maternal grandfather –
Harnarayan Vyas – would receive fifteen rupees as pension and their family –
the grandfather, grandmother, their three sons and a daughter (my mother) – six
in all would fairly be supported by this meager amount. The total expense in my
mother’s wedding amounts to 1200/- rupees only. Nearly 1500 guests were entertained. And the
celebration of my father’s wedding followed a year after when they could gather
enough for the expense. It cost nearly
1200/- to 1300/- rupees in the wedding feast thrown to the 5000 members of our
community.
***
And now comes my story. I had watched
movies for a 5 anna, and had relished poori-shak and spicy dosa for
three and four annas respectively. The famous Maharaj ‘s chevda of
Navtad Pol was dished out with richly furnished dry fruits.
Today, the same shop sells chevda for 160 rupees per k. g. and I
tell you, he can’t afford chevda to be furnished with peanuts.
And in those days, a kapoori pan
cost 2 paisa only. How mouth-watering it was! How richly stuffed it used to be!
You won’t believe but it would take 10 minutes to chew it to the last! In
addition to taste, what you get is a proper exercise of your jaws!
The city of Ahmedabad which appears
single to the eye of an outsider, in actual, contains two ‘ahmedabads’ - one is East side of the bridge and the
other stretches to the West side of the bridge.The Ahmedabad of the West is a
bit pricey so I’m not sure how much they charge for a kapoori pan now,
but I know for sure that the pan parlors in the walled city area charge four
rupees for a kapoori pan. Allow me to say that the pan-makers,
due to their organic coyness, instead of putting much masala on the pan,
he just spills it. Once, I went to a pan parlor and asked for a pan. The
parlor keeper, without giving me a glance, began preparing a pan. When I
humbly asked him to spill more dhaniya daal and variyali , he
tauntingly said, “ Oh! Sir, you should have told me first that you wished not
to relish pan but to snack on it…”
And today, strictly following my
doctor’s advice, I don’t even cast a glance at a pan parlor.
***
I have in my hand a clipping
which dates back to forty years. It’s the time when Mrs. Indira Gandhi was the
Prime Minister of India. Inflation was a great deal of trouble in her times
too. Atal Bihari Vajpayee was a prominent leader of Janasangha (now Bhartiya
Janata Party) then. On 5th November, 1973, Vajpayee had ardently
slammed Congress party’s double standards and misguided policies responsible
for the ‘unprecedented’ inflation, economic degradation, and political turmoil.
He appended that the situation has reached breaking point and it’s like
sleeping over a volcano (the convention to criticize the opposition party prevailed
even in those days). I’m not sure about
the price of petrol in those days but Vajpayee and other party leaders had set
off on a bullock cart and cycles against the price hike in petrol. On the other
hand, after a massive price hike in petrol, the Prime Minister Mrs. Indira
Gandhi, moved to using a buggy pulled by a horse to ply between her residences
and the ministerial office. Indeed, Mrs.
Indira Gandhi made history through her utilization of an antiquated buggy
(Indira Gandhi’s each and every move was considered a chapter in history).
Once, observing Indira Gandhi in a buggy, a pedestrian slyly commented: “This
remedy is perfectly fine concerning the current price hike in petrol. But the
question that troubles is: where from does the forage come in such critical
climate?” Can you imagine that the cars in the security convoy of the Prime
minister had to be in the first gear? Consequently, the cars ate up more petrol
than the usual. Following in the footsteps of Indira Gandhi and Vajpayee, the
president of Svatantra party and the parliamentarian, Mr. Pilu Modi
declared a ‘procession’ on the back of elephant. I wonder whether these people were concerned
about the inflation at all or were merely making fun of public by these tamashas?
***
Whatever is the case but I must
defend Mrs. Gandhi on the ground that the price of potatoes was comparatively
less than most of the things. Morarji Desai himself bore testimony to this. He
made a public statement after he was expelled from Congress: “Indiraji dropped me
like a hot potato.”
***
Now, Let me turn to the current scenario.
As you know that 25 paisa (chavanni) has been withdrawn from circulation. It’s
now a thing of past. What about 50 paisa (athanni)? It’s has been almost ages
since I saw a 50 paisa coin. And please don’t ask me of a one rupee coin. The
poor one rupee coin is no more in vogue. Try giving a one rupee coin to a beggar and
you’ll see that he’ll immediately insert it into his pocket without a gleam in
his eyes. What’s more is that he’ll not even bless you for the alms! If you
sincerely wish to receive blessings, you should be generous enough to give five
rupees in alms; five rupees is a minimum denomination to get the blessings.
However, every cloud has a silver
lining. In Tamilnadu, where Jayalalitha rules, a plate-full of idli-sambhar
costs you just a rupee. Curd and rice cost three rupees and five rupees for sambhar
and rice. If you have five rupees in your pocket, you can have a bellyful meal.
The public there is pleased with this scheme introduced by Jayalalitha. However,
this scheme has been considered a political move with an eye on the upcoming
Loksabha election. Jayalalitha wishes to capture majority of the constituencies
out of 39 constituencies. She’ll certainly bag them. Today, people are no more
interested in the cliché slogan of Roti, Kapda Aur Makan (Food,
Clothing, and Shelter). And therefore, the Gujarat Congress’s attempt to tempt
the public with ‘Home for Everyone’ scheme turned into the biggest flop show. Just
listen to what Gidhu uncle whispers in my ear: the Government of Gujarat should
take inspiration from Jayalalitha.
***
And finally, a Vinodkatha (Humourous
Tale): A Boon. While in a flying chariot, pointing to a devotee on the earth,
Parvati asked Shiva: “Master! There the
wretched devotee of yours is chanting your name. Let’s help him out.”
“All right”, Shiva briefly replied
and turned the chariot towards the devotee. Shiva appeared before him with a
pleasant glow on his face and affectionately asked him, “My son! What do you
want? I’ll fulfill your wish.” Folding his hands, the devotee made an emotional
plea: “God! Please give me back the inflation of the good old days.”
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